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Human Prudence and the Love of
Offspring
A Compilation of Passages 2 (Continued)
by Rev. Robert S. Jungé
 23. The Writings also point out a purely external and evil love of
offspring. Man can seek offspring for the sake of the love of self and the
world as well as for the sake of the Lord's kingdom.
"Concerning the love of the married partner and of infants. The
men of the Most Ancient Church loved their wives better than their
children. Their posterity loved their children in preference to their
wives. Conjugial love is heavenly, wherefore, love begins from thence,
because it is innocence. But even the worst are able to love children, and
not wives; because they behold images of their own glory in the children
and not in the wife. They are able to be averse to their wives and love
their children, and to be with a wife and not to love her at all, which is
a perversion; this ability exists for the sake of the education of
infants, and because of domestic arrangements, and for other reasons. It
is then the love of lasciviousness which rules; which ceasing, love
becomes nothing; and if there are no children, they reject it from the
heart. Every moment (when partners love each other) there appears
something like when they were first married, or conjoined in marriage.
They are then like infants and sport almost similarly. But this love
recedes if there is not conjugial love." (SD 4628m)
"Of what character love towards children, which is storgé is with
the evil; they see themselves in them, since the soul of the father is in
them. This love conjoins married partners, but in what way, and with what
difference." (SD 6110:31).
"It was perceived that he who does not live in the love of faith
cannot live in the true love of marriage, and although he may seem to
himself to live in the love of marriage, yet it is nothing else than a
certain species of adultery or lewdness. He loves his wife solely
for the sake of cohabitation and the delight of an earthly life, and his children
for worldly ends and so on; whereas celestial things, the celestial
things of faith, ought to flow into conjugial love..." (SD 4076).
"The people of the Most Ancient Church above all on this earth
lived in genuine conjugial love, because they were celestial, were in
truth from good, and were in the Lord's kingdom together with the angels;
and in that love they had heaven. But their posterity, with whom the
church declined, began to love their children and not their consorts; for
children can be loved by the evil, but a consort can be loved only by the
good." (AC 1730). (Cf also De Conj 114).
"There are women who do not love their husbands
but hold them
in contempt, and at length esteem them as of no account. Their quality was
represented to me by a cock, a wild cat, and a tiger of a dark color. It
was said that such begin by talking much and then proceed to scolding, and
at length put on the nature of the tiger. It was said by some that such
still love their children; but it was answered that such love is not
human, and that it flows equally into the evil and even into animals of
whatever kind, to such a degree that these also love their offspring more
than themselves. It was added that with such persons there is nothing of
conjugial love." (AC 1745).
"A certain semblance of conjugial love is found with some. but is
not really that unless they are in the love of good and truth. It is a
love appearing like conjugial love, but it is for the sake of the love of
the world or of self, namely, to be served at home, or to be in
security or at ease, or to be ministered to when ill an when growing
old, or for the sake of the care of their children whom they love."
(AC 1741).
"When I was being conducted through several abodes, I came to one
where heat seized my feet and loins, and it was said that those were there
who had indulged in pleasures, but still have not extinguished the
natural desire of procreating offspring. (AC 2757)
"Of what kind the love of infants and the love of children is
with the spiritual and what kind with the natural is manifestly
perceived from them after death ...Spiritual fathers only look at them,
ask in what state they are, rejoice if it is well with them, and grieve
if it is ill; and after some conversation, instruction, and admonition
respecting heavenly moral life, they separate from them, but before
separation, teach that they are no longer to be remembered as fathers,
because the Lord is the one only Father to all in heaven...But natural
fathers as soon as they realize that they are living after death and
recall the memory of their children who had deceased before them, and as
they are made present also by strong desire are instantly conjoined with
them and they cling together like a bundle of sticks tied together; and
then the father is delighted continually with the sight of them and by
conversation with them..." (CL 406). (Cfs. CL 274).
" ..The love of parents towards their children remains after
death, in the case of consorts who have loved each other (n 1714 - 17, cf
CL 410)." (First Index on Marriage PARENTAL LOVE).
25. It is not easy to determine our basic reasons for wanting to use
prudence in controlling these matters. The loves of self and the world can
be extremely deceptive particularly with something so close to us. It is
useful to note some of the major pressures of the world which might
influence our decision.
The pressures of the world can be religiously oriented. The Protestants
(not always for good motives) are putting real pressure on the issue as an
embarrassment to the claim of Papal infallibility. "Alfredo Cardinal
Ottaviani, Secretary of the Holy Office (fears) that tile authority of the
Church would be shamefully eroded if it treats of contraception with less
than the most ringing condemnation. On the other hand, when a leading
liberal on the commission, Bishop Josef Maria Reuss... was asked whether the
Church would not also lose authority if it refuses to change, he nodded
sadly and said, "naturally." Indeed the liberals argue that the
Church's authority will be even more drastically reduced if there is to be
no change because millions of Catholics are even now defying the teachings
of their Church by practicing contraception, and millions more are sure to
follow suit, no matter what the Pope decides..." (Ladies Journal
p 89 Mar 1966) When some urge the Council of the Clergy to take a strong
stand and others vigorously assert that the Writings don't teach
application, we too face a question of authority. That discussion can be
influenced by either the love for the integrity of the Writings and the
Church, or the loves of self and the world. This Council is responsible for
leadership as to the truths of doctrine which apply.
The lack of true conjugial love in the Christian world also has a strong
internal effect. "At this day in the Christian world adulteries are
more prevalent than in any other religion, because they separate good from
truth or charity from faith; and when these are separated, then from influx
it cannot be otherwise. Therefore they confirm adulteries and not marriages;
and therefore it is not known what conjugial love is, it must be shown how
the faith of the present day separates and thus falsifies the Word, then how
it perverts man's rational, thence adulteries are delightful, but not so
marriages." (L.J. Post 340) When this familiar general teaching is
linked to the teaching that adulterers desire to have relations without
offspring, the source of disorderly thinking becomes more apparent. The
pressure of our age to have intercourse without the conjunction of seed and
ovum, even to the horrible pressure to make homosexuality respectable (by
civil law "consenting adults") all is linked to this spiritual
origin of evil. These amoral, immoral, and even civil positions may be
abhorrent to us, yet they create a climate of steady erosion which. must be
recognized as to its basic spiritual roots.
Can any deny that there is a possible involvement of the love of self and
the pride of self-intelligence in the so-called "emancipation of
women?" Yet the economic and psychological attractions for mothers to
work are very strong. Day school programs and the "expert"
knowledge and research of social workers who seem to regard themselves as
more capable than mothers in the home have undercut the confidence of
motherhood, and have substantially altered many theories of public
education. It is not easy in our day for the Church to courageously uphold
the teachings concerning the essential differences between the masculine and
feminine and their proper duties.
Something in the neighborhood of ten major corporations manufacturing the
pill have made unprecedented profits and built an advertising and political
lobby which again constitutes an enormous pressure upon public opinion. The
pride of human intelligence is obvious in almost all of these inventions
as well as their promotion. Millions of dollars are being expended that man
may control as many aspects concerning offspring as they can. For example:
"Researchers are now trying to identify the chemical substance which
renders some women infertile. When they find the answer they hope to develop
a vaccine which could make all women immune to pregnancy. Then a woman might
be given a fertility dr1ug1)only when she wanted a child." (Parents
Magazine, Oct. 1967)
Yet how ill-founded this pride is might be illustrated by the fact that
it is not clearly known in what way many of the devices work, as to whether
they create barriers, destroy the sperm, or cause the conceptus to abort.
This is particularly true of those devises which effect the hormonal
structure. This makes it pretty difficult to know how principles should
apply when we do not even know what is happening physically. To this point
we have tried to avoid arguments over technicalities of method, lest they
pull our thought away from the ideals. Nevertheless there are teachings
which do relate not only to possible legitimate reasons for practicing birth
control in exceptional cases, and which seem to give some guidance as to
principles which might effect the decision as to what form of control might
best be employed.
Such detailed instruction does not seem to be appropriate to large public
classes. Yet our laymen need to be led to the passages themselves, which are
not readily found simply by looking in the Concordance or reading through
the chapter on the love of infants in Conjugial Love. They do not seem to be
able to do it without leadership nor should they have to in an area so
closely linked to their salvation and eternal happiness. There seems to also
be a real danger of these matters being determined by discussing all sorts
of potential solutions with friends and neighbors, mostly from natural light
and sometimes heat, rather than in the light of the Writings. Many of these
problems seem at least to me to be secrets of the home which should be
protected. (Cf CL 252, 472). Not only should such privacy be preserved for
the sake of the couple's relationship to each other and their mutual
relationship to the Lord, but it helps preserve a state of joy for example
if an "unexpected" baby arrives. In addition it protects the state
of the Church in general from making holy things commonplace.
26. Some possible legitimate reasons for control seem to be implied in
the Writings. Tampering with the interiors of the organs of propagation
carried with it the danger of intruding ourselves into the order of Divine.
Providence. But note also the apparent rightness of ordering externals for
the health of body and mind.
"If man should be at the same time in the internals he would
pervert and destroy the whole order and tenor of the Divine Providence. This
too, may be illustrated by examples from the human body. If man knew all
the workings of both brains and fibers, of fibers into muscles and muscles
into actions, and from this knowledge were to direct all things as he does
his actions, would he not pervert and destroy all. (7) If A MAN KNEW how
the stomach digests, how the surrounding viscera absorb each its portion,
elaborate the blood, and distribute it for every operation of life, and if
he had the ordering of these things as he has of external things, such as
eating and, drinking, would he not pervert and destroy them all? When he
is unable to order the external that appears like a single thing, [NB:]
without
destroying it by luxury and intemperance, what would he do if he had also
the ordering of the internals, which are infinite? This is why the
internals, lest man's will should in some way enter into them and get
control of them,, are wholly exempt from his volition, except the muscles
which constitute the covering; and he does not even know how these act, he
only knows that they act. (8) It is the same with the other organs; as for
example if man were to have the ordering of the interiors of the eye for
seeing, of the interiors of the ear for hearing, of the interiors of the
lungs for breathing, of the interiors of the mesentery in distributing the
chyle, of the interiors of the kidneys in their work of secretion, of the
interiors of the organs of generation in propagating, of the interiors of
the womb in perfecting the embryo, and so on, would he not in numberless
ways pervert and destroy in them the order of the course of the Divine
Providence? Every one knows that man is in the externals; that is, he
sees with the eye, hears with the ear, tastes with the tongue, feels with
the skin, breathes with the lungs, contributes to propagation and so on. Is
it not sufficient for him to know about the externals, and to order them
for the health of body and mind? If he cannot do this, what would happen
if he had also the ordering of the internals? From all this it is evident
that if a man clearly saw the Divine Providence he would intrude himself
into the order and tenor of its course and would pervert and destroy it."
DP 180:6 ,7,8 See DP 181 in full on p. 1 for a balanced context)
"But the nature and quality of those heavenly communities which
pertain to the several organs of generation I have not learnt; for they are
too interior to be comprehended by any one in a lower sphere. They bear
relation to the hidden uses of these [NB:] organs, which are
providentially recondite, lest these things, in themselves most heavenly
should suffer injury from the filthy thoughts of lasciviousness, whoredom,
and adultery, excited in very many persons by the mere mention of these
organs." (AC 5055) (This number has direct bearing on the pressure
to educate the simple and increasingly younger children concerning detailed
knowledge of the organs which are frequently linked to birth control and
pornography by its secular advocates.)
"It was also shown that a general sense operates likewise into the
province of the loins by their similar external influx, like an afflatus,
which pervades the loins, though not the genital members; for the general
operation of the cerebellum, besides flowing into the face, acts about the
loins, where numerous nerves of the cerebellum center, having reference to the
propagation of offspring, which is natural; nor does man then know how
all these things apply themselves, for propagation is in all respects
exempt from man's voluntary principle. It was said to me that the
principle cause of the motions of that region was one having reference to
propagation, and that a secondary object was, that man might be able to sit
down and to move the lower parts of his person, and that for various uses;
but it was affirmed that the principle end was that of propagation."
(SD 3862)
"Various fears on the wife's account: as for example 1) lest she
prove barren; 2) lest, from disdain, (she prove) of unsound mind or silly,
3) a cause of disquiet, 4) by reason of quarrels, 5) from various causes in
one's self; also from various causes in the wife -- as that she must have an
allowance, as in Holland; that she must be well treated at home; that she
must eat and drink well, for example, when she is sick; and this appears
like loving the wife; but it is not the fear of the wife, but it is fear on
account of the wife. But the fear of conjugial love is lest the wife be
injured by any evil or disgrace. In a word he fears to do her harm because
he loves her. This fear is the fear of the wife, and not fear on account of
the wife." (SD 6110:55).
27. From the universal sphere of caring for what is propagated it is
obviously quite right to have a just concern for the education and care of
offspring. Yet here as with any other love the spiritual considerations must
rule the natural. How far beyond natural "necessities" should
parents external concerns run, and how do we determine necessities?
"The sphere of the love of infants which proceeds from the Lord is
the sphere of protection and support of those who are unable to
protect and support themselves (n 658 - 1662 cf CL 391)" (First Index
on Marriage, SPHERE) (cf also CL 386)
"That the sphere of the love of infants is a sphere of protection
and support of those who cannot protect and support themselves. It was
said above (n. 386) that the bringing into operation of uses by the Lord
through the spheres proceeding from Him is Divine Providence. It is this
Providence therefore, that is meant by the sphere of protection and
support of those who cannot protect and support themselves; for it is
provided from creation '' that things created shall be preserved, guarded,
protected, and supported, otherwise the universe would go to ruin. With
living creatures to whom is left freedom of choice this cannot be done by
the Lord immediately; therefore it is done mediately through His love.
implanted in fathers, mothers, and nurses. That the love is a love
that is in them from the Lord this they do not know, for they do not
perceive the influx, and still less the omnipresence of the Lord. But who
does not see that this is not a thing of nature but of Divine Providence
operating in nature by nature?... Mothers and fathers protect and
support their infants because these are not able to protect and support
themselves. This however, is not the cause of the love of infants, but is
a rational cause due to the coming down of that love into their
understanding. From the rational cause alone; in the absence of a love
breathed in and inspiring it, or without the compulsion of law and
punishment, man would no more provide for his infants than a statue.
(CL 391)
"That the love of infants is of one kind with spiritual married
partners and of another with natural ...The spiritual love their children
according to their spiritual intelligence and moral life; thus they love
them according to their fear of God and actual piety, or piety of life,
and at the same time according to their affection for and application to
uses serviceable to society, that is according to the virtues and good
morals with them. From their love of these things principally, they
provide for and minister to their necessities. Wherefore, if they do
not see such virtues in them they alienate the mind from them, and do
nothing for them except from duty." (CL 405). (How far human prudence
must anticipate and provide for those uses serviceable to society could
lead to a thorough study of the place of economic principles and
considerations in human life.)
28. Some point to the world's population, which is supposed to double in
thirty years or so and speak with tremendous callousness concerning the
supposed need for control. For example "Bringing birth rates down
shouldn't be any more difficult than controlling malaria, and Asia has
already done a good job at that. Essentially all that is needed is a willing
woman, a trained doctor and field worker to bring the two together.",
(Life, 1967). The objections of some "backwards" husbands in
having their wives contacted is then pooh poohed. We might reflect on the
population in Jupiter.
"The age of the men on that planet is for the most part thirty
years. Those who live longer are said to be unteachable, so that the spirits
do not dare to admonish and chastise them, for they say they know those
things as well as the spirits; therefore, because they are not flexible
and teachable as youths are, the spirits desire the less to speak to them.
Moreover, it is of the Lord's Providence that they do not live beyond
those years because their numbers would increase too much; for the
offspring they have multiply, since famine and want do not hinder them
from the procreation of offspring, as on this earth. Hence they are
consociated (in marriage) in their first youth, nor do they seek anything
more than the procreation of offspring. They do not so care for other
delights, as they are called here; they study solely their
offspring." (SD 546) (cf EU 48, 84) (AC 8851)
"...It was shown me also how they gloried in the great number of
their children; and that they had their children with them wherever they
went, who walked before them in a curved line. - But they were told that
the brutes also, even the worst, all have a love for their young, and that
this is no evidence that there is anything good in them; but that if they
had loved children not from their love of themselves and their own glory,
but that human society might be augmented, for the common good, and
especially if they had loved them in order that heaven might
thereby be multiplied, thus for the sake of the Lord’s kingdom, then
their love for children would have been genuine." (AC 1271)
"...The reason of this also is that the societies into which the
heavens are divided are, for the most part, like cities, and they
all differ one from another as to the reception of Divine truth in
good;..." AE 223).
"...Thus the universal heaven, which consists of myriads of
myriads can act as one, in consequence of being in mutual love, for thus
they suffer themselves to be led by the Lord; and what is wonderful the
greater the numbers are, that is the greater the number of myriads which
constitute heaven, so much the more distinctly and perfectly they all in
general and particular become one..." (AC 3350) (cf 3629:e, 6285).
"This correspondence can never be filled because the more numerous
the angelic associations are that correspond to a single member,
the more perfect heaven becomes. For every perfection in the heavens
increases with increase of number. The reason is that all there have
one end in view, and look with one accord to that end. That end is the
common good; and when it reigns there is, from the common good, good to
each individual, and from the good of each individual, there is good to
the whole community..." (HH 418).
"...the increase in numbers of angels perfects heaven..."
(LJ
12)
"...the sphere of propagation-is thus the supereminent sphere of
the reservation of the created universe b successive generations. ( CL
222) ( cf also CL 404)
" ..But to constitute that Grand Man, those who come from our
earth into heaven are insufficient, being comparatively few; they must
come from many other earths: and it is provided by the Lord that as soon
as there is in any part a deficiency in the quality or quantity of
correspondence, those who may supply it shall be immediately summoned from
another earth, in order that the proportion may be preserved and heaven by
this means maintain its consistence." (EU 9).
"...The reason why such a sphere of the marriage of good and truth
goes forth from the Lord, is that it is the sphere also of propagation,
'that is of prolification and fructification; and this is the same as the
Divine Providence for the conservation of the universe by successive
generations." (CL 92).
29. The Writings speak of determinations being at the good pleasure of
the man, but regulated by the wife's perception of the inclinations
ante affections of the man, together with prudence in regulating them. Wives
are in no excitation as men are, but with them is a state of preparation for
reception and a direct concern for the welfare of those procreated. (It
should be noted in passing that many of the following teachings have direct
bearing not only on abstinence as a possibility, but also on any methods a
couple might consider which would disturb the normal preparation and
determination between the couple.
"As every law and precept comes forth from what is celestial and
spiritual, as from its true beginning, it follows that this law of
marriage does so, which requires that the wife, who acts from desire,
which is of the proprium, rather than from reason like the man, should be
subject to his prudence." (AC 166).
"That determinations are at the good pleasure of the husband. The
reason is that men have the aforesaid ability, and this varies with them
both according to the state of their mind and according to the state of
their body. For the understanding is not so constant in its thoughts as
the will is in its affections; for it is carried now up, now down, is now
in a state serene and clear, now in a disturbed and obscure state, now is
among pleasant subjects, now among unpleasant. And also the mind when it
is active is in the body also, it follows that this has similar states.
Hence it is that the husband now draws away from conjugial love, now
approaches it; and that in the one state his ability is withdrawn, in the
other it is restored. These are reasons why determinations must be left to
the good pleasure of the husband. Hence it is that wives, from wisdom
inherent in them, never put their husbands in mind of any such
things." (CL 221).
"Determinations to the ultimate delight are in the good pleasure
of the husband. Wives cannot bear to hear their husbands say that they are
able but not willing; they can however, bear to hear it said that they are
willing but not able: the latter perpetuates love, but the former
dissolves it (n266-268) (cf CL 219)" (First Index on Marriage
POTENCY)
"That wives are in no excitation as men are; but that with them
there is a state of preparation for reception. That with men there is
semination and the consequent excitation; and that the latter is not with
women, because the former is not is evident. But that with women there is
a state of preparation for reception, and so for conception, I relate from
things heard. But what that state with women is I may not describe. It is
also known only to them. But whether their love while they are in that
state is in its delight, or in undelight as some women say, they have not
divulged. This only is known in general: That the husband may not say to'
the wife that he can and will not, for thus her state of reception is
grievously injured, which is prepared in accordance with the state of the
husband in that he is able." (CL 219)
"Inclination to conjoin the man to herself is constant and
perpetual with the woman, but its reception is various and alternate with
the man (n 2016; cf CL 160, 169). Perception of the inclinations and
affections of the man, and together with . this prudence in regulating
them, is woman's wisdom. (2017, cf. CL 166, 168 Women hid this wisdom
of theirs within themselves, and do not disclose it at all to the man, for
the sake of causes that are necessities; so that conjugial love,
friendship, and confidence, and thus the union of souls and minds and
consequent bliss of living together, and the happiness of the life of both
parties may be preserved and strengthened (2018, cf CL 167)" (First
Index on Marriage, SEX).
"...Moreover love is continually working. It is like heat,
flame and fire, which perish if restrained from doing their work. Hence,
it is, that with the wife, the inclination to unite the man to herself is
constant and perpetual. That with the man, there is not the same
inclination to the wife, is because man is not love but only a recipient
of love, and the state of reception is absent or present according to
interrupting cares, according to the changes of heat and non-heat in the
mind from various causes, and according to the increase and decrease of
virile powers, in the body; and since these do not return constantly and
at set times, it follows that with men the inclination to that conjunction
is inconstant and alternating." (CL 160).
"That with this conjunction as an end, the wife is given a
perception of the affections of the husband and also the highest
prudence in moderating them... They know them by three senses, sight,
hearing, and touch; and they moderate them all unknown to their
husbands. Since these matters are among the arcana of wives, it does not
become me to disclose them circumstantially..." (CL 166).
"That for causes which are necessities, wives store up this
perception with themselves and conceal it from their husbands, in order
that conjugial love, friendship, and confidence, and thus the blessedness
of cohabitation and the happiness of life may be firmly established. The
storing up and concealing by wives of their perception of their husband's
affections, are called necessities because, if revealed, they would
alienate their husbands from bed, from chamber, and from home. The reason
is because with most men, deeply seated within is conjugial cold, and this
from many causes ...If wives were to disclose the affections and
inclinations of their husbands, this cold would break forth from its
hiding places and would chill, first the interiors of the mind, then the
breast, and from this the ultimate organs of love which are dedicated to
generation; and with these chilled, conjugial love would be so far exiled
that there would no longer remain any hope of friendship, confidence, and
blessedness of cohabitation, or of happiness of life therefrom, when yet
it is by this hope that wives are continually nourished. The disclosing of
the fact that they know the affections and inclinations of love in their
husband carried with it a declaration and publication of their own love;
and it is well known that, so far as wives open their mouths about that,
men grow cold and desire separation..." (CL 167).
"That this perception is the wife's wisdom, and that it is not
possible with the man; nor is the man's rational wisdom possible with
the wife. This follows from the difference between masculine and
feminine..." (CL 168).
"...From this it follows, that the thought of the wife about the
inclination of her husband to herself with the purpose of conjoining him
to herself is continual. The thought of the wife about the
husband is indeed interrupted by the domestic affairs which are under
her care, still it remains in the affection of her love, and with women
this does not separate itself from their thoughts as in the case with
men..." (CL 169).
"That the wife conjoins herself to the man by applications to
the desires of his will. Being among things familiar to all explanation
of these words is superfluous." (CL 170).
"...If, unknown to the mother, another infant were substituted for
the true one after birth, it would be loved with equal tenderness as if it
were her own. Besides, infants are sometimes loved by nurses more than by
their mothers. It flows from these considerations that this love is
from no other source than the conjugial love inherent in ever woman, to
which is adjoined the love of conceiving, from the delight of which the
wife is prepared for reception. This is the first of that love, which
after the birth with its delight, passes over fully to the
offspring." (CL 393).
"How the influx of the Lord into man's soul takes place, and
thence into the higher parts of the mind, and through these into the
lower parts of the mind, and thence into the body and makes conatus;
which, when opportunity offers becomes act. (illustrated n 57) Second
Index on Marriage INFLUX).
30. If a decision must be made concerning the number of offspring,
despite the pressure of women's liberation that a woman should have the
right to determine what happens to "her body," the Writings
strongly indicate it should be a mutual decision with the husband and wife
each contributing their unique illustration.
"That they are for the sake of the unanimous care of infants,
and in respect to children. That there are conjugial simulations between
married partners which are appearances of love and friendship resembling
those truly conjugial for the sake of infants and children is very well
known. Their common love for these disposes each married partner to regard
the other with kindness. and with favor. The love of infants and
children with the mother and father conjoins themselves - as the heart
and lungs in the breast; the love of them with the mother is the
heart there, and the love towards them with the father is as the lungs
there. The reason for the comparison is that the heart corresponds to
love, and the lungs to understanding, and love from the will is with the
mother, and love from the understanding is with the father. With spiritual
men there is a conjugial conjunction through this love, from justice and
judgment - from justice because the mother carried them in the womb, with
suffering brought them forth, and afterwards with unwearying care suckles,
feeds, cleanses, clothes and brings them up." (CL 284)
"That the wife is conjoined to the husband b the
appropriation of the forces of his manhood, but that this takes lace
accord in to their mutual spiritual love. That such is the case,
this also I have taken from the mouth of angels. They said that the
prolific things expended by husbands are received by wives universally
and add themselves to their life; that wives thus lead a life unanimous
with their husbands, and successively more unanimous; and that hence the
union of souls and conjunction of minds exists in effect. The cause of
this, they said, was that in the prolific of the husband is his soul and
also his mind as to its interiors which are conjoined to the soul. They
added that this was provided from creation in order that the wisdom of
the man which makes his soul may be appropriated to the wife, and that
thus they may become one flesh, in accordance with the Lord's words;
also that this was provided, lest after conception, the man, from some
fantasy, should leave his wife. But they added that with wives, the
applications and appropriations of the life of husbands are effected
according to the conjugial love, it being love, which is spiritual
union, that conjoins; and that for many reasons this too has been
provided." (CL 172).
That the wife thus receives unto herself the image of her husband, and
hence perceives, sees, and feels his affections..." (CL 173)
cf. CL 176 "...according to their mutual aid these offices
conjoin the two into a one and at the same time make one home."
"What supremacy effects in marriage, either by the man or the
woman. What the submission is that arises from hyperconscientiousness.
What that which arises from excessive simplicity, in him, or in her:
what the persuasion or belief that whoredom is not sin (effects). (SD
6110:34).
"...But what kind of love and friendship there is between a
dominating wife and a servile husband, or between a dominating husband and
a subservient wife cannot be described in a few words. Yea, if their
differences were brought together in species, and these recounted, pages
would not suffice. For they are various and diverse, according to the
nature of the ambition with men, similarly various with the wives, and
those of our men are diverse from those that are with women. For such men
are in no friendship of love but what is fatuous, and such wives are in
the friendship of spurious love from lust. But it shall be told now in the
following section by what art wives acquire power over men. (CL 291).
(12) "That the third of the external causes of cold is, a striving
for super-eminence between partners. The reason is that marriage love,
among its first things, looks to a union of wills, and thence to freedom
to do its pleasure. Striving after super-eminence, or for rule, casts
these two out of marriage; for it sunders and separates the wills into
parties and transforms freedom of action into servitude. While this
striving lasts, the spirit of the one mediates violence against the other.
If their minds were then opened and seen by spiritual sight they would
appear as if fighting with daggers, and it would appear that they regard
each other with alternate hatred and favor - with hatred in the vehemence
of their strife, and with favor while in the hope of dominion, and when
they are in lust.
After victory of one over the other, the combat withdraws from
externals and betakes itself to the internals of the mind, and there
abides in restless concealment. Hence to the subjugated man or slave there
is cold and also to the victress or dominant wife. That to her also there
is cold is because there is no longer conjugial love, and the privation of
that love is cold (n. 235). Instead of conjugial love he or she has heat
from super-eminence; but this heat is utterly discordant with conjugial
heat, yet it can agree outwardly, through the medium of lust. After tacit
agreement between them it appears as if conjugial love had made
friendship; but the difference between conjugial friendship and servile
friendship in marriages is as the difference between light and shade,
between living fire and unreal fire, yea, as between a man in full flesh
and a man consisting only of skin and bone." (CL 248).
31. Our ruling loves determine the nature of any decision. The goal of
marriage is clearly the innocent willingness to be led by the Lord. But not
all will attain this love to the highest degree, certainly not all in a
world where good and evil are so mingled and the evils so pernicious. We
must recognize that man can be led by the Lord according to the laws of
order as to good, from the Lord's will, His good pleasure, and from leave.
Sometimes due to circumstances beyond our control, evil disease and
disorder, are permitted for the sake of a higher end which is our eternal
salvation. When we face conditions which are short of the ideals so
beautifully presented in the Writings, we must learn not to despair. Rather
we must trust that if we aspire to those ideals and at the same time do our
best with the circumstance, the Divine Mercy of the Lord will in the
fullness of time restore order and happiness.
"All order is from Jehovah, that is, from the Lord, and according
to this order are all things directed by Him both in general and in
particular, but in many different ways, to wit from will from good
pleasure, from leave, and from permission The things that are from His
will and good pleasure are from the laws o order as to good, and so also
are many of those which are from leave, and some of those which are from
permission. But when a man separates himself from good he casts himself
into the rule of the laws of order that are of truth separated from good,
which are such that they condemn; for all truth condemns man and casts
him down into hell; whereas the Lord from good, that is, from mercy, saves
him, and uplifts him into heaven..." (AC 2447:2)
"That permission, leave (venia), good pleasure, and the
will of the Lord are in all things which happen, but have a relation
(application) to subjects. It was given to make a distinction amongst
permissions, which are divided also into genera and these into species, as
also to distinguish amongst leaves (venias) which being to good
spirits, and amongst good pleasures which belong to angels, and (to
divide) all into genera and species. Inasmuch, now as a will of the Lord
reigns in each and all things, for a rules a things, therefore good
pleasures, leaves and permissions, are circumstanced according to subjects
like as when man think, speak, or do the same thing; one acts from
permission, another from leave, a third from good-pleasure, for each and
all things are from the end." (SD 2296)
"The things which are from the Lord are either nearer to, or more
remote from Him; and they are said to be 'from His will,' ‘from good
pleasure’, 'from leave,' and 'from permission.' The things which are
from will are most nearly from Him; those which are from good pleasure are
somewhat more remotely from Him; those which are from leave still more
remotely; and those which are from permission are most remotely from Him. These
are the degrees of the influx and reception of the Divine. But
each degree contains innumerable things which are distinct from those
which are in any other degree; and these innumerable things are arcana of
heaven, a few only of which fall into the human understanding. For
instance to take only those things which take place from permission,
which, although they are in the last place, nevertheless on account of the
numberless arcana therein cause a man to fall into confusion when he looks
at them from the happenings of things in nature, and from appearances, and
still more when from the fallacies of the sense. Yet the arcana of
permission are comparatively few as compared with those of the higher
degrees, which are the things that take place from leave, from good
pleasure, and from will." (AC 9940) (cf SD 892).
"But spiritual temptations are little known at this day. Nor are
they permitted to such a degree as formerly, because man is not in the
truth of faith, and would therefore succumb. In place of these
temptations there are others, such as misfortune, griefs, and anxieties,
arising from natural and bodily causes, and also sicknesses and diseases
of the body , which in a measure subdue and break a the life of a man's
pleasures and cupidities, and determine and uplift his thoughts to
interior an religious subjects. But these are not spiritual
temptations, which are experience by those only who have received from the
Lord a conscience of truth and, good. Conscience is itself the plane of
temptations, wherein they operate." (AC 762).
"Evil from the falsity of evil is described by what Onan did -
that he was not willing to give seed to his brother, but that he destroyed
it to the earth. That by this is signified what is contrary to conjugial
because in the internal sense by the conjugial is meant what is of the
church; for the church is the marriage of good and truth, and to this
marriage, evil from the falsity of evil is altogether contrary, that is,
those who are in such evil are contrary to this marriage. (2) That this
nation had not anything conjugial, whether understood in a spiritual or in
a natural sense, is very evident from the fact that they were permitted,
for the genuine conjugial is never possible except among those with whom
the church or kingdom of the Lord is, and not with these except between
two (n. 1907. 2740, 3246)." (AC 4837).
"All that evil which springs or flows forth from interior
evil,(that is, from the intention or end of evil, such as was this of
Onan's), is contrary to Divine order; but that which does not spring or
flow forth from interior evil, that is, from an intention or end of evil,
though it sometimes appears like evil, yet is not so, provided the end is
not evil, for the end qualifies every deed. For man's life is in his end,
because what he loves and thence thinks, he has for his end: the life of
his soul being nothing else." (AC 4839).
32. Potency and delight increase with regeneration, and the delights of
those in the conjugial never become common as with adulterers. While the
numbers seem to refer primarily though not exclusively to angelic potency,
the increase of the desire for conjunction as love increases seems to have a
real bearing on abstinence as a method of control. In considering the more
ultimate teachings we are struck with the weight of the evidence to confirm
the free expression of love and desire born from the love of offspring,
rather than any clear indications as to exceptions.
"Potency (Potentia). Angels have perpetual potency, because
they are in perpetual love (illustrated n. 68, cf. CL 207, 355, 356, 433)
Whence angels have perpetual potency, confirmed by reasons presented by an
angel (mem 222, cf CL 355, 356). Determinations to the ultimate delight
are in the good pleasure of the husband... Increase of potency according
to the opening of the interiors of the mind. (n 539 - 548, 549 - 560, cf.
CL 220) Conjugial love, according to its spiritual state, produces
potency; nine reasons (n 639 - 663) Impotence is a cause of coldness and
separation between consorts (n 972 - 978, cf CL 254). Various causes and
species of impotence (972 - 978 cf CL 221) He who is in love truly
conjugial is in its virtue and its potency (n 1024 - 1028, cf. CL 55, 355,
433). Correspondence of seminal potency with reception of spiritual truths
through the Word (various things n 1478) cf CL 127, 220) Also various
things concerning natural and spiritual conjugial love and potency (n 1459
- 1652, cf. CL 44, 55, 207, 220, 221, 355, 433) Various causes of potency
(1562, 1564). By spiritual conjugial potency is meant potency such as
those have who are in the truths and goods of the church (1563 - 1565).
Various things concerning natural potency from spiritual. (1564)
There is natural conjugial potency from the love of the sex, which when
not limited to the wife is lewdness; and the potency of lasciviousness
(1566). Spiritual conjugial potency is from conjugial love, with one wife:
when this (potency) becomes conjugial it is chastity, and its potency is
without lasciviousness (1567). Natural conjugial potency successively
decreases, as its love, which is lewdness, is not limited (1568-1573). But
spiritual conjugial love successively increases as its love, which is
heavenly, is purified from lascivious love of the six (1574). Natural
conjugial potency decreases even till it becomes naught; but that which is
spiritual increases even till it becomes constant (1574-1577). Natural
conjugial potency successively extinguishes the interior fire of man's
life, and dims its light; but that which is spiritual successively kindles
the fire of man's life and exalts its light (1579). Natural conjugial
potency deprives the soul and the spirit of their own beatitudes and
delights; and the contrary is the case with that which is spiritual (n
1580-1582). The man who is in spiritual conjugial potency from chaste love
becomes a more and more internal and perfect man; the opposite is the case
with him who is in natural potency (1583, 1584). Potency is an external
cause of love or friendship between consorts (n 1609, 1610, cf. CL 49,
274, 290). Judgments of the wise from the kingdoms of Europe concerning
the origin of conjugial love, and concerning its virtue and potency (mem.
n 171, cf CL 103-114) Concerning seminal potency -- when it begins (1799,
cf. CL 4,16)." (First index on Marriage POTENCY)
Continued
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