Sermon by Rev. David Roth

Prayer: Lord, heavenly father, we are your children and we seek your guidance in our life. We seek your truth, we seek that truth that we may live it and it will set us free from the bondage we may find ourselves in or shows the way to You, shows the way to true freedom. Amen.

Sermon: If you believe in God, why do you? If you don’t believe in God, what evidence would it take to convince you that He exists? I always liked Pascal’s wager, it’s, if nothing else a very logical approach; basically it’s a much better debt, or a much better wager, to believe that there is a God, because if you do wager that God does exist, and you’re right, you gain everything, life is good. But if you wager for God and He doesn’t exist, it’s just status quo, nothing has happened. But if you wager against God, and you’re right, status quo. But if you’re wrong, misery. So it’s a much better bet to just say “yeah, I’m going to live my life that way”. If I’m wrong it’s no big deal. If I’m right, what a better difference my life is.

Religions all over the world try to convince people that God exists, and hopefully for the right reasons. It’s a very important concept; how we see God and how we understand Him. The Writings for the New Church say that on a right idea of God, the whole body of theology hangs, like a chain, on its first link, and if you will believe it, everyone is allotted their place in the heavens in accordance with their idea of God. This means that every idea that you have, hangs upon that first idea of God, like the first link in a chain, and if it’s weak, everything that’s following from it will be weak as well, and everyone after death, where you end up is determined by what your belief about God is.

Therefore, how you understand God is going to impact everything in your life. For example, if you grow up believing that God is angry with you – like many people do, you might feel like you can’t do anything right, or no matter what you do, you can’t really please God. Maybe there’s a cloud of fear hanging over your head because of this belief.

We’re doing a series on the Ten Commandments called “Rise Above It,” trying to rise above the promptings of our lower nature to the impulses, or the influx of the Lord and what He teaches us in His Word.

The first Three Commandments, we are taught, and part of the fourth one, are about our relationship with the Lord. He wanted us to have a clear idea that these Commandments were Divine, so He gave them in a very dramatic fashion on Mount Sinai. There is a great deal of drama that precedes the giving of the Commandments. There’s thundering and lightning and thick clouds on the mountain and sound of a trumpet blowing. The people are afraid. The Lord is trying to reinforce the ideas that these laws are very important to your life. If you want to be happy and have eternal life, live these laws. We find them in all religions throughout the world, who live according to these Commandments in one way or another. So just by way of review, the first four Commandments, the first idea of having no false God and having no God before the Lord, is thinking about whatever it is that interferes with our relationship to the true God, as something we need to turn away from.

The second idea is to not take the Lord’s name in vain and the idea of honoring the qualities of the Lord, that are pictured by the different names that we have for Him. The last counting that I had was about 150 to160 names associated with the Lord, thinking of all those different qualities that describe the Lord in His beauty, and looking for ways in our life to call upon the Lord in ways that bring that quality that we’re looking for. Maybe as we experience unrest, calling upon the Lord as the Prince of Peace; calling upon that quality of peace because that’s what we need at that time.

Then, remembering the Sabbath as taking time out to purposely serve and learn from the Lord, a day of rest, a day of rest from our normal activities and a time to learn about Divine things and to practice them. And today’s Commandment, honoring your father and your mother, in the highest sense is to honor the Lord and to honor His church. We call Him in the Lord’s prayer, our Heavenly Father, our Father who art in the heavens.

We call upon Him that way to acknowledge that fact. When you think about it, if that relationship with the Lord doesn’t exist, our relationships with other people, our fellow humans, won’t either, at least not healthy ones. Just like that idea of God, everything else depends upon it and is affected by it.

You may be thinking to yourself, “I’m anxious to get through these first four Commandments because they’re about my relationship with the Lord and I don’t bow down to idols and things like that, but I certainly might have the tendency to lie, or to have anger, or lust, or covet, or steal things, but I don’t bow down to false gods”. Well, if you’re taking this course, Rise Above It, you know that actually there’s a lot of things in life that get in the way of a relationship with the Lord.

The Lord teaches us that if we want to be a charitable or kind loving person, the first thing we need to focus on is not what good things we should do, but on the negative things in our life that are preventing us from doing the right thing. So He says, the first of charity is to shun evils as sins against the Lord, to build that relationship. The second thing is then to do what’s right. Because, if we don’t do that first, everything that we’re trying to do good is driven by a selfish motive, or our own desire to be right or whatever is negative that’s driving us to do something right and it’s mixed with it, so if we shun what’s negative, then what’s good will come. As the Lord says in Isaiah, “Wash yourselves, make yourselves clean, put away the evil of your doings from before My eyes. Cease to do evil, learn to do good.” He very purposely said it in that order.

The Writings for the New Church, in the Apocalypse Explained, say “Cease therefrom asking in yourself, what good must I do to receive eternal life?” Maybe you’ve done that in your life, “well, what good thing do I have to do to get to heaven?” The Lord says, don’t ask that question. He says only cease from evil as sins, and look to the Lord, and the Lord will teach and lead you. Focus on that, and He will show you what you need to do. Therefore, to the degree that we see our sins, or our bad behaviors as an affront to the Lord and His laws, to that degree we will truly stop doing them, start shunning them, and give them up.

We’re told that there are two great Commandments that are pictured in these two tablets, that are the Ten Commandments. One for God, the relationship to the Lord, and one for our relationship to our neighbor. This fourth Commandment presents the transition from one Commandment to the next, the idea of focusing on our relationship to the Lord, to our relationship to the neighbor, and both of them are pictured.

Honoring thy Father is about our relationship to God, and honoring thy mother is about our relationship to our neighbor. So everything is more or less summarized in this Commandment. If you’re a parent, to what degree do we want to enforce this Commandment literally? You must honor and obey us, because it’s one of the Lord’s Commandments. To what degree do we teach that to our children? The Lord tells us that we are the fathers and the mothers that the Lord commands them to honor, until the time that they, from maturity, can honor their true father, the Lord, and their true mother, the Lord’s church.

It’s our job to reinforce this Commandment, not in an oppressive way of course, but to teach them to listen and to obey. If you see anger in your children, for example, you will probably have no problem trying to redirect them to something kind or something gentle. If you see them stealing, you’ll probably have no trouble trying to say no, that’s not right, we don’t steal things. So, if you see them disobeying you and disrespecting you, the same idea is to try and teach them to obey you, because it helps them with their relationship to the Lord later in their life. Therefore, it is our job. If we don’t teach them and care for them, what does that teach them about how the Lord cares for them? If we disregard and disrespect them ourselves, what does that teach them about how their Father in Heaven cares for them? Part of it is teaching them to honor you, observing this Commandment, but the other part of it is being honorable yourself. If you are dishonorable and you’re trying to teach your children to honor you, there’s obviously some kind of disconnect there. If they can’t see the good in you because there’s so much negativity, it’s going to be hard. So we have to be honorable by personally trying to keep these Commandments as parents, ourselves.

So this brings us to the first level of meaning to this Commandment, to literally honor our parents for the good they have done. We can say that purposely, honoring our parents for the good that they have done.

Notice what the Writings for the New Church say about our parents’ job, what it is that we’re trying to reinforce in our children. It says that to honor your father and your mother means to honor parents, to be obedient to them, and to be devoted to them, and to return thanks to them for the benefits they confer. Why? That they may act as a civil and moral person. That’s the goal; to teach them to act civilly and morally and thereby introducing them into heaven by means of the precepts of religion, providing for their temporal prosperity and their eternal happiness. We must teach them things that will allow them to be good citizens in this world and also in the world to come.

Well, what if your parents did evil to you? What if your parents hurt you terribly? It makes it hard, doesn’t it? It makes it hard to honor them. And we know this sometimes can happen, and sometimes it can happen very severely. One minister comments that honor does not mean unquestioned obedience. They’re accountable to the same divine laws that we are. I think that’s important to say, especially for children. The idea is that it’s not unquestioned obedience – if your parents are breaking the Commandments, and trying to get you to do that, you say no. You obey God’s laws above that. So it’s not unquestioned obedience, but trying to respect what is good and gratitude for the kindnesses that they do.

You notice Jonathan, in the Lord’s Word, doesn’t obey Saul. When Saul says, go, tell me where David is so I can kill him, he doesn’t do it. He disobeys his father because he responds to a higher authority which is the Lord’s Commandment to protect, and not murder. But also take note of how David treated his father-in-law Saul, who was trying to kill him. His father-in-law Saul was pursuing him and trying to kill him. David had an opportunity to kill Saul several times, but he didn’t do it. He showed him that he had an opportunity to do this and he didn’t, but he also kept his distance from him. He protected himself, but he didn’t act in a way that would break any Commandments of killing Saul as well.

It’s easy to blame parents for everything, isn’t it? Maybe you’ve gone through a phase like that in your life, where everything is Mom or Dad’s fault, and that was rather trendy for a while and perhaps that’s part of growing up. In thinking of my own family, I can think of some bad things that my parents did, some wounds and hurts that I experienced, that I sustained, but when I stop and think about it, and get a full picture of them, I consider the facts that they had to deal with in their own life, it actually softens it quite a bit.

My father says that his Dad never showed him any physical affection at all as a child, growing up. He wouldn’t put his arm around him, he wouldn’t commend a good job, wouldn’t give him any kind of affirmation. He also says he never encouraged him. His father lost his business when my Dad was a child growing up, so he says that he would just stare out the window all day long. That’s all his Dad would do, he was so devastated by what happened. His mother, my Dad’s mother, was a child laborer when she was a child, so basically she lost her childhood. I think about my mother’s father as well, I never knew either of my grandparents so I can’t comment on them personally, but my mother’s father drank too much, and he was cruel when he was drunk. My Mom talks about how she would have to walk around my Grandmother after Grandfather was drunk out in the streets until he passed out and then it was safe to come back in the house again. So when he was drunk, he was very mean, so it’s easy to write him off as someone who is not worthy of honor, because of the way he acted. When I look more into it, ask more questions, what was he like, what did he do? Well, I can honor his work ethic, providing for his family. He was married, he left Scotland as a young man, and left his wife and a couple children to come to the U.S.A. and raise some money so that he could bring them back to this country. While he was there, his business crashed. This happened during the Depression, and while he was gone one of his children back in Scotland died. Imagine the pain of that, being away and having your child die. And they finally got the rest of the family over here and another one of their children died from a disease. So, losing two of your children while they were growing up, losing your business, and having five living children to take care of in a very difficult time.

So there’s many things to look at in someone’s life like that, and say it might have had something to do with why he needed to drink and he needed escape from it, and he probably had a lot of hurt about it. My own parents gave birth to five kids within six years, which I think is quite dramatic. I don’t know how they did it, but I complain about raising my own children, and they were spread out a lot more than that. So it can be a lot of work, and of course, being raised in a family with that many screaming little kids in diapers is probably not perfect.

Also, people have many scars from fighting in wars, a lot of people that we know, all of our parents, grandparents, fought in wars. My Dad will not talk about the Korean war, which he fought in. My brother, who is a marriage and family therapist, tries and tries to draw it out of him. I loved the fact that one time, my Dad was visiting and I sat in the back yard with him and said, “My brother’s working hard on you, isn’t he, to get you to talk about the war?” He confirmed this and then stated he wouldn’t. He went on, “He doesn’t need to know what it was like to have your buddy’s head blown off, or to stack dead bodies like firewood because there were so many of them. I mean that would mess you up.” I had to call my brother later and say “Ha, I didn’t get him to talk, but he talked.”

My Dad was very nurturing as a parent, in so many ways. When I was sick, he was the one that would care for me, as I recall. My Mom worked very hard to get us many things that she didn’t have. She wanted us to have a better life than she had. For them, a treat was having lard spread on toast with a little bit of sugar sprinkled on it, so, to be able to bake cakes full of cream and wonderful things is how she showed her love.

Children tend to naturally reject their parents to find their own wings. In one sense it’s part of our growing up, but it can be done honorably, it can be done in an honorable way.

I like what Mark Twain once wrote; “When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant, I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.”

I question if I had actually listened to them, growing up? What if I had taken their advice? What if I had avoided the things they said to avoid? What pain might I have missed out on, what kind of bad choices might I have missed out on making? Parents would lay down their life for you in an instant, as you would lay down your life in an instant for your own child. But, you just don’t get that. Growing up, you don’t see that, you have to kind of fight against it. As the Koran says, “Be good to parents, whether one or both of them attains old age with thee, say not to them fie, neither chide them, but speak unto them words respectful, say my Lord have mercy on them both, as they did care for me when I was little”. In the Koran’s words, that’s a good reason right there, because they cared for you as a child. You are about to hear a tribute to my parents – I didn’t write this, but that’s what it’s called; “A tribute to my parents”. I think it gives us a lot to reflect upon, as we think about our own relationships.

As I ponder my life, I can’t help thinking of the gifts you have given me.
I know we had very little money, but we lacked nothing of importance.
I am as thankful for the things that we didn’t have as I am for the things that we did.
I often wonder if I will ever be able to provide for my children what you provided for me.
You taught me by example to do what is right, when you made me return a penny item and explain my actions after I took it without permission at age five.
When I was ten you taught me by example to treat others with dignity when you gave shelter and care to my friend who was beaten by his own family.
You taught me by example that respect was more important than grades when I had a conflict with a teacher in sixth grade.
You taught me by example that acts of kindness are natural outpourings of a loving heart when you shoveled every neighbor’s sidewalk instead of just our own.
You taught me by example that one’s child is the most important thing in the world, when you peeled my orange and wrapped it in foil, and cut my cake in half and placed the icing in the middle so it couldn’t come off on the wax paper when you packed my lunch.
You taught me by example to value my faith by attending church with us weekly, when it would have been more convenient to stay home.
You taught me by example the importance of giving when you placed your offering in the plate each week to help others who were less fortunate than we were.
You taught me by example that honesty and integrity were more important than fortune when you struggled to pay your taxes, rather than to cheat on your return.
You taught me by example to hold fast to my commitments by staying committed to each other for all of these years.
You taught me by example that reading is more important than television, that laughing is better than crying, that time is more important than words.
You taught me by example what it means to be a good parent.

And that’s how it ends. Obviously trying to get the point across that the example that was lived by the parents really had an impact, and that’s a lesson for all of us.

So I invite you to reflect on your own parents, look for the good that they did in your life. It’s there. If they’re alive, express your gratitude to them, acknowledge the good that did happen. You might have to sift through some emotions about that as you process that, and that’s okay. If they’ve passed on, let that be a reminder to you to appreciate the people that are in your life to not let that opportunity pass by to show someone that you care about them.

I love this teaching from the New Church about life after death stating that everyone has an opportunity to meet the people that they loved and cared about in this world in the next. Heaven and Hell 427 states that all who have been friends and acquaintances in the life of the body, especially wives and husbands, and also brothers and sisters, meet and converse together whenever they so desire. I’ve seen a father talking with six sons whom he recognized, and have seen many others with their relatives and friends. It’s a wonderful teaching about how we can be reunited with people that we care about, that these relationships don’t end here, that they continue if we wish.

That’s more or less, the basic meaning of the Commandment. There are other levels of meaning that expand on this first level; love and honor the country and the its leaders. This can be tough, sometimes. Some people find it difficult to honor their leaders, and it’s good practice, though, to respect the office of leadership, the office of the presidency. You might not like the person that’s in that position, but you can honor the position and what it does, and what it’s supposed to do for the country.

Therefore, if you have difficulty with a particular individual you can focus on the use instead. It’s important to instill this in our children as well, we’re taught.

The spiritual sense of this Commandment is to honor the Lord as the Father of all. He is our Creator, and He gives us everything we need. He guides us and leads us and comforts us, and He’s trying to make us as happy when we let Him. We honor His church, as the mother that cares for our spiritual needs and nurtures us; a place where we find comfort, where we can find hugs from other people, where we can learn and work in community with one another. And in the highest sense of this Commandment, the celestial sense, it says honoring your mother means honoring those within the church that do the Lord’s will. Loving the communion of saints, meaning, people all over the world, in all the different religions of the world, who believe in their God and live according to their religion. So in the highest sense of this Commandment, we learn a wonderful teaching; the church universal, or people who live by whatever their faith, all over the world, that believe in God and live in charity, are to be honored.

That’s one way to keep this Commandment; is look for the good in other people that might completely disagree with you religiously, but you can see the good in them, and in the fact that the Lord has created it that way, with variety. So honor that good that they do. It’s certainly there if we look for it.

So it’s not limited to or strictly focused on our natural father and mother, because after death there isn’t that same kind of relationship. The Lord says, “Call no man your father on earth, for one is your Father who is in the heavens”. So our Father, after death, becomes our Lord. He is our Heavenly Father, and, as the Lord said in Matthew, “for whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.” That family is anybody who lives in good, that’s part of the Lord’s family.

So this Commandment is a summary and a segue for us. It reminds us to honor the Lord in all that we do, have gratitude towards Him for the things that we get and all those blessings in our life. It begins to introduce the idea of loving our neighbor, or loving other people, generally speaking.

When you see somebody, when you meet somebody, when you know somebody, look for what’s good in them. Try to bring that out. Don’t focus on what you see that’s wrong, which is really easy for us and we often do that. But focus on what you see that’s good. Do it in other people, do it in your country, in your church, and so on.

Also, in keeping that Commandment for ourselves, honoring father and mother is honoring what’s good and true. So when you ask that question in your own life of, “Is what I’m about to do going to lead towards good, the common good. Is it true or do I have to bend the rules to make it work”?

Spirituality is a complete change of focus. It’s more of a global view and asking if we’re supporting the whole, or just supporting me, by my choices and because it’s about death or self-interest, and awakening as to the care for other people. These Commandments are the prescription for how to do that.

So, your eternity is being shaped today; is being shaped now and has been shaped by the choices you have made, and eternity is now. So don’t waste it! Don’t wait until you grow apathetic spiritually. You’re here today, because you heard the Lord knocking on the door of your mind, and you said, “Yes?” You had an affirmative response.

There’s a quote from the Writings for the New Church that says “Every smallest moment of your life involves a series of consequences extending to eternity, each moment being a new beginning for those which will follow.” So this moment that you have is a new moment. What will you choose? Because it is your choice. Where will you go from here? This moment has a series of consequences extending into eternity.