Human Prudence and the Love of Offspring
A Compilation of Passages 3 (Continued)

by Rev. Robert S. Jungé

"Conjugial love increases in potency and effect to eternity..." (De Conj. 30) (cf. CL 55)

"That men have abundance according to their love of propagating the truths of (their) wisdom, and according to their love of performing uses. That such is the case is one among the arcana which were known to the ancients and which are now lost. The ancients knew that every least thing done in the body is done from a spiritual origin; as for instance that actions flow from the will which in itself is spiritual; that speech flows from thought which is likewise spiritual; also that natural sight is from spiritual sight which is understanding, natural hearing from spiritual hearing which is the attention of the understanding and at the same time the compliance of the will, and natural smell from spiritual smell which is perception, and so on. [NB:] The ancients saw that virile semination is likewise from a spiritual origin; and from many testimonials of both reason and experience, they concluded that it is from the truths of which the understanding consists. They said further that from the spiritual marriage which inflows into every single thing of the universe, being the marriage of good and truth, nothing else is received by males but truth and that which relates to truths. As regards the formation, they said that the masculine soul being intellectual is truth, the intellectual being nothing else; and therefore, when the soul descends, truth also descends; that this comes to pass by reason of the fact that, from an implanted endeavor to propagate itself, the soul, which is the inmost of man and of every animal and in its essence is spiritual, follows in the descent and wills to procreate itself; that when this takes place the whole soul forms and clothes itself and becomes seed; and that this can be done thousands and thousands of times because the soul is a spiritual substance which has not extension but impletion and from which there is no taking away of a part but a production of the whole without any loss thereof. Thence it is that it is fully present in its least receptacles which are seeds just as in its greatest receptacle which is the body. Since therefore the truth of the soul is the origin of seed, it follows that men have abundance according to their love of propagating the truths of their wisdom. That. it is also according to their love of performing uses is because uses are the goods which truths produce. Moreover, it is known to some in the world that the industrious have abundance and not the idle..." (CL 220)

"That conjugial love makes man more and more a male is also illustrated by what was adduced in the preceding part on Conjugial love and its delights, as 1. That the ability and vigour called virile accompanies wisdom according as the latter is animated from the spiritual things of the Church; that it is then present in conjugial love; and that wisdom opens the vein of that love from its fountain in the soul, and thus invigorates the intellectual life, which is masculine life itself, and blesses it with perpetuity. 2. That it is from this that angels of heaven are in this vigour to eternity... That with (the adulterous) the ability and vigour which is called virile becomes enfeebled until none is left; and that then comes cold even to the sex, and after this a loathing (of the sex) verging on disgust - all this is known though little divulged. That these adulterers are such in hell this I have heard at a distance from sirens there, who are worn-out lusts of venery; and also from brothels. From the above it is clear that scortatory love makes man more and more not a man and not a male; and that conjugial 'love makes man more and more a man and more and more a male." (CL 433)

"...What is more, they do not know what love of sex can be, if not conjugial love; and what you will wonder at, the husbands (in heaven) have perpetual ability for the enjoyment of its delights..." (CL 355).

"...That an angel is living, according to the devotion of his mind (to use) from use, is clearly manifest from the fact that every angel has conjugial love, with its virtue, its potency, and its delights, according to his devotion to the genuine use in which he is..." (CL 207:7)

33. The Writings indicate then that the desire for conjunction is an increasingly powerful force with the good. But regeneration itself involves self-restraint for the sake of use, particularly restraint and subordination of natural desires. While the following numbers do treat of abstinence specifically, they nevertheless seem to have a real bearing on its potential use and abuse.

"(9) That chastity cannot be predicated of those born eunuchs; not of those made eunuchs. By those born eunuchs are meant especially those with whom from birth the ultimate of love is wanting. And as in such case the first and mediate are without a foundation on which to subsist, they cannot come to exist; or if they do exist, such have no care to distinguish between the chaste and the unchaste, for both are indifferent to them. But among these there are many differences. The case is nearly similar with those made eunuchs as with those born eunuchs. But those made eunuchs, because they are both men and women, cannot but regard conjugial love as a phantasy and its delights as fables. If there is anything of inclination in them it becomes mute, that is neither chaste nor unchaste; and being neither, it takes no name either from the one or from the other." (CL 151)

"That chastity cannot be predicated of those who have renounced marriages by vowing perpetual celibacy, unless there is, and remains in them, a love of the life truly conjugial. Chastity cannot be predicated of those for the reason that after the vow of perpetual celibacy conjugal love is driven out, of which alone nevertheless chastity is predicable. And because an inclination to the sex is inherent from creation and hence by birth; and when this is restrained an repressed it cannot be but that this inclination will break forth into heat and with some into a ferment, which as it rises up from the body into the spirit infests, and with some befouls, it; and it may be that the spirit thence befouled will befoul also the things of religion, and cast them down from their internal seat, where they are in holiness, in externals, where they become but a thing of the mouth and of gesticulation; or which reason it is provided of the Lord that this celibacy is only with those who are in external worship; in which they are because they do not approach the Lord and do not read the Word. (CL 155 cf. CL 156)

"That with those who for various causes cannot et enter into marriage, and on account of salacity cannot control their lusts, it is possible a that conjugial may be preserved if the love of sex be confine to one mistress. That immoderate and inordinate lust cannot be restrained by those who are salacious, reason sees and experience teaches. In order then that the immoderation and inordinacy may be curbed, and be brought to something moderate and ordinate, with those who labor under a raging heat and cannot for many reasons hasten and anticipate marriage, there seems no other refuge and as it were asylum than to take a mistress, called in French a maitresse. It is known, that in kingdoms where there are government regulations, matrimonies cannot be contracted by many until after the period of early manhood is passed, because employment must first be obtained by service, and means to support a house and family must be acquired, and then first may a worthy wife be sought. And yet with few during the preceding age can the fountain of manhood be kept closed and reserved for a wife. It is indeed preferable that it be reserved; but if on account of unbridled power of lust it cannot be, then an intermediary course is to be sought whereby conjugial love can meanwhile be kept from perishing. That pellicacy is such a means, the following considerations advise. (1) That thereby inordinate promiscuous fornications are curbed and limited, and a more restrained state induced which is more nearly akin to the life of conjugial love. (2) That the ardor of venery, boiling and as it were burning in its beginning, is quieted and assuaged, and thus the lasciviousness of salacity, which is foul, is tempered by something as it were analogous to marriage. (3) That by this the virile forces are not thrown away and imbecilities contracted, as by vagrant and unlimited indulgences. (4) That thereby also diseases of the body and insanities of mind are avoided. (5) Likewise adulteries are thereby guarded against, which are whoredoms with wives; and debaucheries which are violations of virgins, not to speak of those disgraceful things which are not to be named. For a boy at the age of puberty has no thought that adulteries and debaucheries are other than fornications, but thinks that one is the same as the other; nor has he knowledge from reason to withstand the enticements of some of the sex who have carefully studied the arts of courtesans; but in pellicacy which is a more regulated and saner fornication he may learn to see the distinctions.(6) There is no approach through pellicacy to the four kinds of lust that are in the highest degree destructive of conjugial love, which are the lust of defloration, the lust of varieties, the lust of violation, the lust of seducing innocences, of which in what follows.

But these things are not said for those who can control the surging heat of lust; nor for those who can enter into marriage as soon as the are grown to manhood, and can offer and devote the firstfruits of their manly power to their wife. (CL 459)

"That pellicacy is to be preferred to wandering lust, if only it be not entered into with more than one; and not with a virgin or undeflowered woman; nor with a married woman; and if it be kept apart from conjugial love. When and with whom pellicacy is preferable to wandering lust has been pointed out just above. (1) The reason why pellicacy should not be entered into with more than one is that with more there is something polygamous in it, which brings man into a state merely natural, and thrusts him down into the sensual so far that he cannot be elevated into the spiritual state in which conjugial love must be. (see 338, 339) (2) That it must not be engaged in with a virgin or undeflowered woman, is because with women conjugial love makes one with their virginity. Hence the chastity, the purity, and the sanctity of that love. Wherefore to pledge and give up her virginity to any man is to give a token that she will love him to eternity. For that reason a virgin can by no rational consent bargain it away, unless with the promise of the conjugial covenant. It is also the crown of her honor. To snatch it therefore beforehand without the covenant of marriage, and afterwards to discard her, is to make a harlot of some virgin who might have become a bride, and a chaste wife, or to defraud some man, and either is damnable. He therefore who does take to himself a virgin as a mistress, may indeed cohabit with her, and thus initiate her into the friendship of love, but still with the constant intention, if she does not commit whoredom, that she shall be or become is wife. (3) It is plain that pellicacy must not be engaged in with a married woman, because that is adultery. (4) The reason why the love of pellicacy must be kept apart from conjugial love is, that the loves are distinct, and must not therefore be mixed together. For the love of pellicacy is an unchaste, natural, and external love, while conjugial love is chaste, spiritual and internal; the love of pellicacy keeps the souls of the two apart, and conjoins only the sensuals of the body; while conjugial love unites the souls, and from the union of souls unites with sensuals of the body also, even so that the two become as it were one, that is one flesh. (5) The love of pellicacy only enters the understanding and into those things which depend upon the understanding; but the love of marriage enters also into the will and into those things that depend on the will, and thus into all things and everything of the man. If then the love of pellicacy becomes the love of marriage, the man cannot by any right withdraw without a violation of conjugial union; and if he does withdraw and take another, conjugial love perishes in the breach of it. It must be known that the love of pellicacy is held apart from conjugial love, if the man does not promise marriage to the mistress, nor lead her into an hope of marriage. But it is better t at a torch of love of the sex be first lighted with a wife. (CL 460)

"But they who in the world lived unmarried, and altogether estranged their minds from marriage, if they are spiritual remain single; but if natural they become whoremongers (scortatores). But it is different with those who in their single state have desired marriage, and still more with those who without success have solicited marriage; for them, if they are spiritual, blessed marriages are provided - but not until they are in heaven ...The reason why the celibates are at the side of heaven is, that the sphere of perpetual celibacy infests the sphere of conjugial love which is the very sphere of heaven. The sphere of conjugial love is the very sphere of heaven because it descends from the heavenly marriage of the Lord and the church." (CL 54:3)

"They who have lived in celibacy, live also in celibacy for a long time; but, if they have desired marriage in the world, they also at length enter into marriage..." (De Conj 51). (cf CL 155)

"The papists prefer celibacy and virginity to matrimony; but it is on account of monks and nuns in monasteries. It is pernicious. (SD 6110:47)

"Virgins who have imbibed piety to the extent of certain melancholy, become peevish wives, nor can they be among the happy in heaven, - from experience; consequently, those who have lived in monasteries." (SD 6110:52)

34. The strong ultimate desires for conjunction with those who are looking to conjugial love, together with the above teachings concerning pellicacy, sometimes raise questions about contraception prior to marriage when betrothals seem to be too protracted. These same teachings also raise the question as to whether contraception during the first states of marriage is preferable to taking a mistress. In all of these considerations it would be well to reread CL 487 (at the end of this section) which spells out carefully what we can and cannot judge in others. The following numbers should also balance the questions raised.

"That during the time of betrothal it is not permissible to be bodily conjoined. For thus the order which is inscribed upon conjugial love perishes. For in human minds there are three regions, the highest of which is called celestial, the middle region spiritual, and the lowest natural. Into this lowest man is born; but into its higher, which is called spiritual he ascends by a life according to the truths of religion; and into the highest by the marriage of love and wisdom. In the lowest region, called natural, reside all the lusts of evil and lasciviousness; but in the higher regions, called spiritual, there are not lusts of evil and lasciviousness, for into this man is led by the Lord when he is born again; and in the highest region, called celestial, is conjugial chastity in its love; into this man is raised b the love of uses, and, as the most excellent lent uses are from marriages, by love truly conjugial. From these truths it may be seen in brief that conjugial love, from the first beginnings of its heat ought to be raised out of the lowest region into the higher region, that it may become chaste, and that thus out of the chaste it may be let down, through the middle region, and the lowest, into the body. When this is done, this lowest region is purified of unchastities by the descending chaste, and so the ultimate of that love. also becomes chaste. Now, if the successive order of this love is precipitated by conjunctions of the body before their time, it follows that man (homo) acts from the lowest region which by nativity is unchaste. That thence begins and rises coldness towards marriage, and neglect with disdain towards the married partner is known. But yet there are various differences of results from too early conjunctions as also from excessive protractions, and likewise cannot easily be adduced." (CL 305)

"That adulteries of the first degree are adulteries committed b those who do not yet or who cannot take counsel of the understanding and thereby restrain them .... If perchance adultery be committed by an adolescent boy, who does not yet know that adultery is more evil than fornication: If the same were committed by a man of extreme simplicity: if it be committed by one who by disease is bereft of clear judgment: Or by one who, as is the case with some, is at times delirious, and who is then in a state of those that are actually delirious; Or even if it be done in insane drunkenness; and so on. It is evident that then the internal man or the mind, is not present in the external, scarcely otherwise than as in an irrational person. Their adulteries are characterized by a rational man according to those circumstances; and yet, by the same man as judge the doer is inculpated and punished from the law. But after death their deeds are imputed according to the presence, the quality, and the faculty of the understanding in their will. (CL 86)

"That adulteries committed by such are mild ....But adulteries of this degree are mild the first time they are committed; and they also remain mild in so far as he or she in the after course abstains from them for the reasons that they are evils against God, or that they are evils against the neighbor or that they are evils against the good of the state, and because being either of these they are evils against reason. But on the other hand, if they do not abstain from them for the reasons mentioned, these also are numbered among grievous ones... And yet by man they cannot be exculpated and inculpated, or accounted and judged as light or grievous from those circumstances, because these do not appear before him, yea are not within the province of his judgment. Therefore the meaning is that they are so accounted and imputed after death." (CL 487)

(Cf. CL 321 concerning economic reasons and their effect upon the desire for remarriage.)

35. The Writings put a strong emphasis on the sharing of ultimate delights in marriage. The origin of intercourse as has been seen in another connection is shown to come from the love of the partner not merely from the love of producing offspring. It is also emphasized that there is nothing unclean in the ultimates, but with the conjugial they are pure and spring from innocence itself. However, to allow consideration of only the delights would be a stilted and limited view. This aspect must be seen in careful balance with numbers on use of love of offspring as for example in Section 10.

"Love of the married partner does not result from the sexual embrace, as with adulterers, but the sexual embrace from the love of the partner; so that the love of the partner, does not depend on the fire of that organ but the reverse. The love of the partner is full of delights, irrespective of sexual intercourse, and is a delightful dwelling together. Between that love apart from the sexual embrace, and the sexual embrace itself, there is a determination, just as there is between that which a man thinks from will, which is intention, and act or speech. Between these intervenes determination, which is as it were the opening of the mind to doing a thing, like the opening of a door." (SD 6110:44)

"There is no lasciviousness in conjugial love, for lasciviousness is unchaste. There is the identical sensation with those who are in conjugial love; consequently, there is nothing unclean but pure. It appears as if there were, but yet there is not. The reason is because inwardly in conjugial love, even in the ultimates, is heaven, and inwardly in the love of adultery is hell; and the ultimates of each appear similar, as to their delights, but yet they are not. The difference is not perceived except by conjugial love." (SD 6110:25)

"Every eternal derives its essence from internals, therefore neither are the external of conjugial love and the external of adultery alike..." (De Conj. 4, quoted more fully in section 38)

"The excitation of adultery is external, from lust ...just as one touches a friend with a feather, and tickles him. But with those who are in conjugial love ...the very sensations and delights are mutually and alternately communicated. Thus lascivious love is altogether different from conjugial love." (SD 6110:69). (quoted more fully in section 40).

(The delights of conjugial love and adultery) are alike in outward appearance, although inwardly they are wholly unlike....(AE 990:3) (Quoted more fully in Section 40).

"Conjugial love is innocence itself, from the case of Adam. It is chastity itself, and purity itself, - from its origin and from correspondence from its playfulness like that of children." (SD 6110:22).

"Because love truly conjugial is innocence, therefore playfulness between conjugial partners is like the playfulness of little children with each other, and they are such, so far as they love each other, as is evident with all during the first days after the marriage, when their love emulates love truly conjugial. The innocence of conjugial love is meant in the Word by the nakedness at which Adam and his wife did not blush, because there is nothing lascivious, and therefore there is no more shame between conjugial partners than between little children when they are naked together." (AE 996:2).

(Many of the following numbers refer to life in heaven. These can raise our thoughts to ideal, but great errors would occur if we were to try to apply them per se to life on earth.)

"In the inmost heaven there is genuine conjugial love because the angels there are in the marriage of good and truth, and also in innocence. The angels of the lower heavens are also in conjugial love, but only so far as they are in innocence; and this is why consorts who are in conjugial love enjoy heavenly delights together, which appear before their minds almost like the games of innocence, as between little children; for everything delights their minds, since heaven with its joy flows into every particular of their lives. For the same reason conjugial love is represented in heaven by the most beautiful objects...It is said that the angels in heaven have all their beauty from conjugial love..." (HH 382a).

"...Those in the inmost heaven are naked because they are in innocence, and innocence corresponds to nakedness." (HH 179).

"...The angels of the third heaven, because they are of such a character, appear before the angels of the lower heavens as infants, and some as children, all in a state of simplicity; they also go naked. The reason why they appear as infants and as children is that they are in innocence; and love to the Lord from the Lord is innocence ...The reason why they appear simple is that they cannot speak about holy things of heaven and the church; for these things with them are not in the memory, from which all discourse comes, but in the life, and thence in the understanding; not as thought, but as the affection of good in its form, which does not come down into discourse..." (AE 828:3).

"I was carried by the Lord to the left. This lasted an hour, and eventually, I arrived at a certain mountain, where all were naked, wives and husbands; and I spoke with them at a distance. They said that they were all naked men and women; neither did one ever lust after another, nor was any lasciviousness called forth; and that, still, they loved their spouses tenderly. They said further, that when they come to their own dwellings, all, both men and women, are naked, and that then, in like manner, (they have neither lust nor lascivious thought); and also that they cannot tolerate those man and women who are clothed, because they are of a different genius. The reason that they were of such a character, was, that they were in conjugial chastity, owing to the fact that they had been so in the world .... (SD 5179; further incidents illustrating this are described in the rest of the number and in 5180 & 5181)

"...That peace is bliss of heart and soul arising from the conjunction of the Lord with heaven and the church, thus also from the conjunction of good and truth, when all dissension and combat of evil and falsity with good and truth has ceased, may be seen above (n365). And because conjugial love descends from these conjunctions, therefore also all the delight of that love descends and derives its essence from heavenly peace. This peace also shines forth as heavenly bliss from the faces of conjugial partners in the heavens, because they are in that love and from that love mutually regard each other. Such heavenly bliss, which intimately affects the delights of the loves, and is called peace, can exist with none but those who can intimately be joined together, thus as to their very hearts." (AE 997)

36. All. the senses even to the sound of the speech are involved in the conjunction of husband and wife. It would be wrong indeed to place the whole of the ultimate in the sharing of the soul through the seed. The Writings seem to indicate that if a couple had to choose some form of control it would not be wrong to consider the ultimate delights and their accompanying sensations as part of their decision,

[NB:]"...(they enjoy) delights and pleasures by the mere touch of hands and lips when they think from love such things from the Word, from objects, from various concordant delights, as are applicable. They have exquisite sensations of their separate, and of their common states). These arise from the delights of affection and thought, and of the conjunction thereof, and the sensation is the more exquisite as the conjunction is more interior. That there is such delight from the conjunction of female and male, is because there is such (from that of) good and truth. There are still more delights of conjunction of the external senses, as of sight, of hearing, of smell, particularly of the respiration, in which innumerable things lie concealed; they lie concealed especially in the sound itself of the speech." (SD 6110:54)

37. There is a natural progression in these delights akin to courtship. The latter married state containing all the delights of the earlier state.

"Many descriptions are to be given of the state of conjugial love prior to the state in which the effect is. The prior state ought altogether to precede marriage, and love from that without thought of the state following. Then marriage is happy and lasting; but, so far as it partakes of the posterior state alone, so far is it lacking. I heard certain ones saying that they do not know any thing of the state following; nor did they think about it when they desired a wife, and saw her. Such is the state of maidens. Such is the chaste state." (SD 6110:48)

"...(show) from experience that the delights of the earlier state are indefinite, They approach closely and more closely to the state following, but yet do not enter it, It appears as if they open it, but yet it is not so. Between the earlier and the later state, there intervenes something which is to be called determination, almost like what occurs between thinking and willing. The later state contains in itself the whole of the earlier, and all its delights: also, the delights of that are likewise indefinite. The prior state is the state of conjugial friendship which surpasses all friendship. With whom the earlier state exists separate from the later; and with whom both. With whom it does not exist. What joint potency those enjoy who, together and separately, are in the earlier (state); and what those who are in the later state only." (SD 6110:49-51)

"I spoke with angels about the progression of truth to good, thus of faith to charity; (to the effect) that angels experience joy when man, as infant and boy, learns and imbibes truths from affection, thus when truths become of science; and that they experience still greater joy when, from (science) it becomes of the understanding; at such time the joy is experienced by the angels in the Lord's spiritual kingdom. [NB:] There is still greater joy, when truth from the understanding becomes of the will: the joy then is to the angels in the Lord's celestial kingdom. And when, from will, it becomes of act, then is there joy with the angels of the three heavens. How much joy and how great delights, dwell in that progression, cannot be described because it is ineffable; for thus man enters more and more into heaven, and becomes a heaven in the least form. This I perceived, while I spoke with the angels, from the progression of the delights of conjugial love, even to the very ultimate effect, from which man is procreated. Such is the progression of conjunction with heaven, that is, with the Lord, and such is the new creation of man, and the formation of heaven, or of the angel in him, for heaven is the form of Divine truth thus progressing. Hence man becomes a love; and in no other way is the marriage of truth and good established in him." (SD 6011)

(The change in the progression as the joy proceeds from the different heavens should be carefully considered in relation to what the Lord does from will, good pleasure, and leave noted in section 31 above).

38. In all consideration of delights in marriage it is essential to remember that the external derives its essence from the internal.

"...The internal of conjugial love is from the Lord, and thence from heaven, and from everything auspicious and happy there; but the internal of lasciviousness or of adultery is from the devil, thus from hell and from everything inauspicious and unhappy. Every external derives its essence from internals therefore neither are the external of conjugial love and the external of adultery alike. The external of conjugial love is filled with all the delights of heaven, and the enjoyment of heaven which is in that love expels all the enjoyment of hell; hence those two enjoyments in external form are, because of their internals altogether dissimilar." (De Conj 4)

"Afterwards those that were sitting on the grassy banks asked the angels, 'Whence are the delights of conjugial love, which are innumerable and ineffable? The angels answered, 'They are from the uses of love and wisdom. And this may be seen from the fact that in so far as one loves to be wise for the sake of genuine use he is in the vein and potency of conjugial love, and in so far as he is in these two he is in delights, Use effects this, because love by wisdom delight each in the other, and they play as it were like little children, and as they grow up, they enter into genial con junction. This is as if by betrothals, nuptials, marriages, and propagations; and these continue with variety to eternity. These things take place between love and wisdom inwardly in use; but these delights in their beginnings are imperceptible, but become perceptible more and more as they descend thence by degrees and enter as they descend thence by degrees and enter the body. They enter through degrees, from the soul into the interiors of man's mind, from these into the genital region, Yet these heavenly nuptial sports in the soul are not in the least perceived by man; but they insinuate themselves thence into the interiors of the mind, under the form of peace and innocence; and into the exteriors of the mind in the form of blessedness, pleasantness, and joy; but into the inmost bosom under the form of the delights of inmost friendship; and into the genital region, by influx continuous even from the soul, with the very sense of conjugial love, as the delight of delights. These nuptial sports of love and wisdom in use in the soul, in proceeding towards the inmost bosom become enduring, and in that bosom present themselves sensibly under an infinite variety of delights; and by virtue of the variety of delights; and by virtue of the wonderful communication of the inmost bosom with the genital region. these delights become there delights of conjugial love, which are exalted above all delights that are in heaven and in the world, for the reason that the use of conjugial love is the most excellent of all uses, because there- from comes the procreation of the human race, and from the human race the angelic heaven. To this the angels added, that they who are not in the love of becoming wise from the Lord for the sake of use, know nothing of the variety of delights innumerable, which come of love truly conjugial. For with those that do not love to become wise from genuine truths, but love to be in insanity from falsities, and through this insanity do evil uses from some love, with such, the way to the soul is closed; whence it results that the heavenly nuptial sports of love and wisdom in the soul intercepted more and more, cease, and together with them conjugial love, with its vein, its potency, and its delights." (CL 183)

"The purest touch causes the interiors, which are the seed, to be called forth. It goes to the inmosts in the body. and into the liquids: into the animal spirits, or into the spiritual parts themselves: hence prolification. There is also at that time a communication of the inmosts with the outermosts; thus it is from first through lasts." (SD 6110:68)

" …And because the sense of this love is touch and is common to all the senses, and is also full of delights, therefore it opens the interiors of the minds as it governs the interiors of the sense, and with them the organic forms of the whole body." (CL 211)

39. The beauty of the descent of love from inmosts to ultimates is a very important ideal to keep in mind.

"That this formation is effected through the reception of the propagations of the soul of the husband with the delight arising from the fact that she wills to be the love of her husband's wisdom. This coincides with the explanations at n. 172, 173. Further explanation is therefore omitted. Conjugial delights with wives spring from no other source than that they will be one with their husbands - just as good is one with truth in the spiritual marriage, It has been shown in its own chapter specifically, that conjugial love descends from that marriage. It may thence be seen, as in effigy, that the wife conjoins the man to herself just as good conjoins truth to itself; and that, reciprocally, the man conjoins himself to the wife according to the reception of her love into himself, just as truth reciprocally conjoins itself to good according to the reception of good into itself, and that the wife's love thus forms itself by the wisdom of the man, as good forms itself by truth, for truth is the form of good. From this it also is plain that conjugial delights with a wife come chiefly from this that she wills to be one with her husband, consequently that she wills to be the love of her husband's wisdom for then she feels the delights of her own heat in the man’s light as explained in article 4 n 188. (CL 198)

"...For the two partners who are in conjugial love from the Lord love one another mutually and reciprocally from the heart, thus from inmosts; and therefore although apparently two they are actually one, two as to their bodies, but one as to life. This may be compared to the eyes, which are two as organs but one as to the sight; also to the ears, which are two as organs but one as to hearing; so, too, the arms and the feet are two as members but one as to use, the arms one as to action, and the feet one as to walking. So with the other pairs with man, All these have reference to good and truth, the organ or member on the right to good and that on the left to truth. It is the same with a husband and wife between whom there is love truly conjugial: they are two as to their bodies but one as to life: consequently in heaven two partners are not called two angels but one. All this makes clear that through marriage man becomes a form of love, and thus a...form of heaven, which is the image and likeness of God." (AE 984: 2)

"The nature of marriage and of the love thence derived. The conjugial relation is such that the love existing between the parties is so intense, that they desire to be one, and each to impart to the other whatever is his own. It is from this reciprocal sentiment, or the wishing to merge oneself in another, that the love of true marriage exists. From this source all other mutual loves are derived, so far as they involve this principle of mutuality, without which they are such as they are; other love consists in velle, or being willing, but not like this in posse, or being able. It hence appears that conjugial love is fundamental and is heaven itself."(SD 4192)

"The angels of the third heaven are those who are in celestial marriage more than others, for they are in love to the Lord, and thence in the marriage of good and truth; whence also they are in conjugial love more than other angels, and in innocence and chastity. These walk with a cincture when at home; and yet in their nakedness, they look upon the consort as a consort, nor is there anything lascivious therein. They say that to look at a consort clothed detracts from the idea of marriage, and what is wonderful, nakedness does not excite or stimulate; it is however, as an internal bond of conjugial love. In bed they lie conjoined as they were created, and sleep so. They say that they cannot do otherwise. because conjugial love itself, which is perpetual, conjoins; thus also the life of the one is communicated with the life of the other, and the life of the husband becomes appropriated to the wife; that it may be as we read of Adam when he saw Eve his wife: Behold my bone and my flesh, and also that they were naked and not ashamed, that is not lascivious;..." (De Conj 66)

40. In the marriage relationship it is essential to remember that variety of delight comes from conjugial love from within. Much is written about external varieties in modern terms, but they are artificial at best and often crude.

"The excitation of adultery is external, from lust, from the touch of the bodies especially of the parts of generation. It is external; just as one touches a friend with a feather: and tickles him. It is called external because there is no feeling in a feather. But with those who are in conjugial love, the delights of that love are communicated: which are the wife's when they are the husband's. The wife's (delight) flows into the feeling of the husband, so that the very sensations and delights are mutual and alternately communicated. Thus lascivious love is altogether different from conjugial love." (SD 6110:69)

"The majority say, that when the delight of marriage becomes customary, it becomes worthless, and as it were vanishes away. It is otherwise with those who are in conjugial love. With them, the habitual experience becomes the plane of interior delights, comparatively like a flower bed, because it is the external. With those who are in lascivious love, the interiors, which are lascivious, depart with the potency, and hence arises cold, in consequence of which the general plane as it were dies." (SD 6110:75)

"If a man concentrates his love upon his wife, by shunning adultery as sin, then love with its potency increases daily; but if men take from that love and consume it with harlots, conjugial love becomes like chaff and dies." (SD 6110:7)

"I mentioned about a woman, that she said, that it is impossible to love one's wife because it becomes usual. But the angels said that she is mistaken; and that what is usual, when love is truly conjugial, is the plane in which enjoyments form themselves, from within, as upon a rose bed: and that every separate rose becomes a lane in which interior enjoyments are formed and variegated, and this to eternity." (SD 6110:8)

"Christian spirits cannot endure the spiritual sphere of the feminine and the masculine. They cannot endure the spiritual sphere of conjugial love; and the hells, at such times, are roused to fury. They cannot endure the sphere of nakedness between married partners; and, at such times, flee away. They cannot endure any sphere of love from a married partner. They loathe the sphere of customary (intercourse); that is, when conjunction with the wife becomes ordinary, or freely permitted, it produces nausea." (SD 6110:65)

"...Since the delights of these two loves (CL and adultery) are alike in outward appearance, although inwardly they are wholly unlike, because opposites, the Lord provides that the delights of adultery shall not ascend into heaven and that the delights of marriage shall not descend into hell, And yet that there shall be some correspondence of heaven with prolification in adulteries, though none with the delight itself in them. (AE 990:3)

"What supremacy effects in marriage, either by the man or the woman. What the submission is that arises from hyperconscientiousness. What that which arises from excessive simplicity in him or in her: what the persuasion or belief that whoredom is not sin (effects)." (SD 6110:34)

"Many reasons why a man wishes he woman to refuse. With some it is the lust of violating; with some it is the result of adultery; with some it is the excitation of potency thereby. It is from various causes, and especially from mental ones. They at length become like cats, which tear each other, stand still gaze at one another, howl miserably, and wish to do it by stealth. They declare, as if from interior will, that they do not desire it. The reason is, because potency vanishes if they do otherwise." (SD 6110:4)

"...(some of them, for instance), being easily deceived by a counterfeit love towards infants, and some by a counterfeit conjugial love (judging solely) from externals. These are such as constitute the skin of the provinces of the genitalia...." (SD 3704) (cf SD 3390)